Beautiful Death
by TheGreatClick
Summary: After Ethan's plunge from the tower.  Spoilers if you haven't read Beautiful Chaos
1. Chapter 1

**Well... This is my first fanfiction ever... Also the first time I've posted on here. I just wanted to write a little further on from my mind so it didn't stay a mystery for me. For now. So Yeah... I'll add more to this, so this is chapter 1 I guess.**

Lemons and rosemary… It was the first thing I noticed when I was conscious of anything. That smell… It was the only thing I knew. Suddenly, everything hit me. The memories. I was dead. Sacrificed. I had to be dead. I had to be so Lena could fix everything. I had been the crucible as the Lillum called it. My last thought had been of Lena. It was why I could smell her. _Lena…_ I was afraid to open my eyes, if I even had them. I was afraid to see where I was. Was I at the door I had sent Aunt Prue off through? I opened my eyes quickly, not wanting to inch them open and chicken out. There was nothing… a hell of a lot of nothing… I stared up into it. At least, I thought I was looking up. I couldn't tell if I was standing, or on the ground. Was there even a ground to be on at all? I looked down, the direction that my feet were at, and could actually see my chucks. So I still had a body, or something. So I was dead then, at least, I hoped I was. I'd been through so many visions, it was sometimes hard to tell. But, considering the last thing I remembered was wrestling with myself on the way to meet the ground…

"No!" Terrible screams were reaching my ears now and images started flooding my brain. "Not my boy!" Amma… Her voice was filled with grief. "Let… me… go!" I was sure Amma was pushing and trying her hardest to get out of the grasps of Macon and John, but they were too strong. The images in my head cleared up and I could see. I could see myself lying on the ground, an empty coke bottle in my hand somehow still intact after the fall. There was no denying it now, I was dead. Sadness rushed through my mind and I heard Lena's voice.

_Ethan… _She wasn't screaming like Amma, her voice was quiet. Her presence was still with me, and I hoped I was still with her. A voice boomed overhead. I glanced up, even knowing I would see nothing.

"The price has been paid. The New Order will come." Amma's screams were louder now, if it was possible.

"You can't have him!" she was screaming. "Bring him back." I turned back to them. Amma had fallen to her knees, Macon and John had let go of her. Amma's face was hidden in her hands crying.

_You have done what was needed. The others must play out their parts. _The Lillum's voice sounded in my head. I didn't say anything at first, I was watching. Amma crying. Macon's hand on her shoulder. John standing there a little awkwardly. John… Only now, my hatred for him was gone. I laughed. I watched scene, for God knows how long. The voice repeated its question.

_Can… Can you give me a minute? I need to… _

_Of course._ I looked down at my body, the one I was conscious of, not the dead me. I walked over to Amma, I wasn't sure if they could see me. I didn't know if I was a Sheer or what, but I hoped she knew I was there. Macon was the first to say anything.

"Take her home," he said tiredly. He was staring where I was. Amma was letting John lead her away. She hadn't pushed him off her or yelled. Macon walked up to me. He knew I was there. "Ethan…" he spoke softly. I stared right back at him. I couldn't think of anything to say. What could I say? I looked back at my body a few feet behind me then back at Macon who looked much older. "I'll deal with it." He walked slowly towards my body, I turned and followed as he passed.

"Lena's charms," I blurted out as he scooped my lifeless body off the ground. The empty coke bottle fell from my grasp and landed straight up on the ground with a clink. He turned to stare at me. "They're um… They're on the seat in the car." He nodded.

"I'll see she gets them back." I followed in his wake as he walked back to the car. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be doing. It was weird, watching myself being carried in Macon's arms while walking behind him. But as of late, he had seen himself more than once when it wasn't him… but it was. I wasn't sure what Macon would do with my body. He couldn't take it back to Ravenwood, Lena would…

_Lena…_ It would destroy her…John ripped next to Macon as we reached the car.

"What can I do?" he asked taking me from Macon. The old man opened my car and lifted Lena's charms from the seat. They jingled as he pulled them out from the window. The hearse was sitting farther down the road. Macon sighed. He looked at me.

"Where?" he asked with sorrowful eyes. I didn't understand what he meant but it came to me. The cemetery was destroyed. I wouldn't be there.

"Can you fix something up? I don't really feel comfortable sitting in the mortuary. My dad…" Macon nodded.

"John," he said turning to the Incubus. "Bury him at Ravenwood. I'll find a cast to put on him 'till we can sort it all out. Tonight is no night for planning a funeral." John nodded solemnly and was gone. He held Lena's necklace up. "I'll return this." He wandered off towards the hearse. Soon he was also gone and I was alone at the water tower… Dead.

"What am I supposed to do?" I said into the night sky.

"The New Order must be bound. You may be able to aid in that." I shook my head. I didn't know what that meant. I thought Lena was the one doing that. I had died so that she could.

"How can help?" I asked.

"You are a special individual. You may pass freely between the other side and this place." I sat on the hood of the car staring up into the sky listening to the lubbers. I didn't know what I was supposed to do now, where I was supposed to go… It would be a long night. _Lena… _

**Lena**

She knew it had happened. He was dead. Ethan was dead. She had been in the bed staring up at Ethan's last message to her. _I will always love you -Ethan. _Tears were already in her eyes, they had soaked her pillow. Her pillow… It still had his faint scent. She remembered his thoughts of his mother when she had died. It was her turn now. She was the one clutching the pillow trying to hold on to what was left.

But now, he was gone. She knew it. It felt like someone had hit her as hard as they could in the gut. She couldn't breath. She had heard her name for a second before and then there was nothing but pain. She couldn't sense his presence anymore.

_Ethan! _She screamed his name over and over in her head, but there was no reply. She reached out with her mind desperately trying to find him. _Ethan! _She ran to the window as if to see him somewhere outside. Coming up the driveway perhaps to come see her. He wasn't though. When he had left, she held on to some hope there would be a way they could fix it. Ethan wouldn't have to die. Now, that hope was dead. He was dead. He was dead. Her mind was crumbling. He was dead. Ethan was dead. He was gone. Her arms hung limply down by her sides and she shuffled back over to her bed. She curled up clutching the pillow tightly to her and staring up at Ethan's writing.

"Idiot," she whispered. "Why did you have to do that." She had told him she didn't care if the world ended as long as he was there. He went anyway. Her Ethan to go save the world. To go fix her mess. "Why?"

She stared at the spot for what seemed like hours. There was a knock on her door. She didn't look up. It wasn't Ethan. There was a knock again and she turned to look. Her Uncle Macon was standing in the door way, hands in his pockets.

"May I come in," he asked quietly. Lena turned her head to look at the wall again. "I'll take that as a yes." She heard his footsteps cross lightly over to her bed. He sat down on the edge of the bed next to her. He laid a hand on her shoulder. "He did a good thing Lena."

"He's dead," she said very quietly. Macon nodded.

"Yes he is." Lena began to cry again, her tears falling onto the pillow and washing away his scent even more.

"He needs to be here." Macon understood. It was difficult. He knew exactly how she felt. After Ethan's mother… He shook his head. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the charm necklace Ethan had left on his car seat. He set them on the bed next to her. "He wanted me to return this," he said leaning over her and kissing her on the forehead. "I truly am sorry. I wish it had been me." He walked towards the door.

"I told him to hold on to them," she said very softly. Macon stopped at the door. He tried to think of something to say. Nothing came to his mind. "He can't be gone." He walked from the room. Gone, gone, gone, gone. The word pounded through her head. He was gone. He couldn't be though. She grabbed the necklace and held it up in the air. Her life was on this thing. But, it wasn't anymore. Her life had died. She looked at the last one he had given her. It was from his Aunt. She wondered if he was with her now. This brought on a whole new wave of tears. She squeezed the pillow tighter and cried.

_Lena…_ His voice was there with her at the edges of sleep. _I will always love you…_


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the delay for anyone who actually read this. :P I was busy working on some of my actual stories and got distracted. So yeah... here's what I've worked on since then :D**

style="text-align:center;"**Amma**

Amma stood at the stove not moving. She tried cooking something, but her heart just wasn't in it anymore. She didn't know what to tell Mitchell. The man had already lost his wife, and now he had to lose his son. But, he was asleep though. It could wait. A day, a week. However long it would take him to notice Ethan was gone. It wouldn't be that long, she couldn't bring herself to tell him outright.

There was someone behind her. She turned to see Link standing there.

"Wesley…" He didn't ask. He had a good idea of what happened, and he didn't want to know or ask. He gently held Amma and put her into a chair. "My boy is gone…" she said quietly. Link brushed a few tears away from his own eyes.

"I know…" he said taking a seat next to her.

"What are we going to tell his father?"

"The truth?" he said unsure. There was no easy way to tell someone their son died. Especially the way Ethan died. Amma nodded. She knew it was what had to be done, but she didn't want to be the one to do it.

"Yes…" she said staring at nothing.

"I'm going to go to Ravenwood and… I don't know." Link laughed. There was nothing to be done. "You should try and get some rest…" She didn't say anything. She just continued staring off into space. He sighed and ripped away. Amma didn't react. She only sat, thinking. She had lost it all, The Greats, Ethan… There was nothing left for her. Slowly, she rose and disappeared into her room

**Link**

Link appeared outside Ravenwood. The gate was open, allowing him to enter the grounds. The hearse was parked near the house at the top of the drive. The house loomed down over him darkly. He climbed the steps to the door and knocked. John opened the door.

"Come on in," he said pulling the door open fully to let Link through.

"I…" Link wasn't really sure what to say or ask. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked around.

"He's gone." John shut the door.

"How is she?" John shrugged and looked up at the ceiling.

"I've got no idea. She hasn't left her room yet. Macon went up there awhile ago. He didn't stay in there long." There was a long silence where both stood there.

"What are we going to do?" Link asked. John just shook his head. There was nothing for any of them to do.

" I don't know if there is anything to do." There was a quiet cough. Liv was leaning against the wall watching the two.

"Read," she said holding up a book. Link stared at it.

"What is it?"

"A book," she said waving it in her hand.

"Did you find something?" John asked stepping forward to her. She shook her head.

"No. But, I figure we can find a way to help Lena. It has to be in some book."

"You can't bring the dead back," John said watching her.

"We can't bring Ethan back. But, we can find a way to help Lena with the New Order. Ethan won't have died for nothing then. We can work through the night." John nodded like it made perfect sense.

"Right. Let's do that then." Liv started to walk away with John following. "Come on Link," he said waving his hand. Link sighed. Books weren't his thing…

**Lena**

The sun was rising, shining into her window, bring the new day with it. And with that new day, a world without Ethan. The pillow had lost whatever trace of Ethan had been on it in the night. Lena could feel the tears already building up and raining from her eyes. She brushed them out of her eyes and looked around her room. The walls were almost empty. There were no poems, or sweet words written around. There was only Ethan's last message to her, and the word gone everywhere.

She sent out her mind, hoping maybe the night before had been a terrible dream. It never happened and Ethan would be waking soon to say good morning to her. He would tell her he loved her and that everything was alright. But she knew it he was gone. She knew that he was not coming back and she would never hear his voice again, or feel his presence in her mind.

She turned over letting the suns rays fall upon her back instead of into her eyes. She didn't want to get up, but she didn't want to go back to sleep. Her dreams… Her nightmares, were there waiting. It was funny, the dreams she had shared with Ethan in the beginning, it was him who was afraid of losing her. Now, she had lost him. She hadn't really thought he would end up dead, only hurt or afraid of her. He would leave her… Not die… And now, there was nothing she could do. She had not been there on his deathbed like the first time. She couldn't save him a second time. It was her fault he had almost died the first time. It was her fault he was dead for real this time. If only he had left her alone like she had told him when they first met, he would still be alive. Everything was her fault, and there was nothing she could do.

"Lena…" a soft voice sounded from her door. She opened her eyes to see her uncle standing in the door. "May I come in?" Lena said nothing, and made no movement to indicate it was alright. He came in and sat down on the bed next to her. He noticed a box sitting on the floor next to the bed wither Lena's necklace sitting on the top. "I know what you are going through Lena…" He rested his hand on her back.

"No you don't," she said in a muffled voice. She had her face in her pillow trying to find Ethan in it.

"I lost Ethan's mother because she was involved with me," he said calmly.

"Ethan sacrificed himself for my screw-ups," she said turned her head to breath. "It was all my fault. If I had never come here, he would be alive." The tears were beginning now and her words were becoming drowned. "Why couldn't it have been me? Or… someone else…" She barely got the last words out before she broke down completely. Macon wrapped his arm around her.

"I know," he whispered. "I wish it had been me. I have lived long enough. Ethan was far too young to die." He continued whispering reassuring words to her, stroking her hair and watching the sun rise higher into the morning sky. He wished there was something he could do, but he knew there wasn't. He couldn't tell her it wasn't her fault and expect her to accept that. He knew that she loved Ethan, and Ethan loved her. And because of Ethan's love, he gave his life to save hers and the world.

"What am I supposed to do Uncle M?" She asked finishing her sobbing. "I don't know what to do anymore…" He sighed and wished again that he could have an answer for her.

"Do what you have to. Ethan died for a reason Lena. He died so that you could bring the New Order."

"I don't know how… I have no idea what that means. How am I supposed to do that?" she asked, her voice cracking. "Ethan died so that I could screw up again. I can't even make his death mean something." A fresh wave of tears began rolling down her cheeks. She was angry with herself, but her anger was nothing compared to her sorrow. She felt dead. She had no will to move or do anything ever again.

"You'll have to find out on. I will do my best to help, but I have no idea what to do either. We are both in the dark on this." He gave her a kiss on the head and walked out leaving her to her thoughts and only her thoughts. Ethan was no longer in them.

**Ethan**

I wasn't sure where I was at first when my eyes opened. I felt cold, despite a bright light shining on me, that I assumed was the sun. Then I remembered I was dead. I had no idea if I had been asleep, or if I could even sleep being whatever I was. I held up my hand expecting to see through it, but surprisingly I couldn't. Maybe I was alive, I thought hopefully, knowing it wasn't the case. I reached out for L, but couldn't find her. She was blocked out. It probably had something to do with me being dead… I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing right now. I looked around and realized, I also had no idea where I was. I sure as hell wasn't in Gatlin anymore. I laughed. The first time I got out of the place, and it's because I was dead.

"Hello?" I called out hoping someone was there. I was surrounded by a blinding brightness. "Anyone?" I called out again. A figure appeared in the distance of the white blur and slowly came into focus.

"Ethan," it said sadly. "I wish I could say it was nice to see you again." The figure was clear now. It was my mother…

"Is this the other side?" I asked. She nodded.

"It is. And from here, we will help Lena."

"How am I supposed to help her from here?" I asked.

"By finding out what she needs to do, and then telling her." She wrapped her arm around me and led me into the white.


	3. Chapter 3

**((Apologies if this seems rushed and kinda eh. Some things happened and I just now started back up on this. Plus, I've been really busy editing my own story which consumed my time. So this is just a little quickwrite for you people who really wanted more. Back to my world-Ethan))**

**Marian**

Marian glanced up as the group walked into the room. Olivia followed by John and Link.

"Anything I can do to help?" Liv asked walking up to the table. Marian turned back to the book on the table flipping pages.

"I cannot find anything anywhere," she said slamming the book shut. She fell into the chair behind her and sighed. "I have no idea where to look. I wouldn't even know where to start. Macon has no idea either." Marian put her head in her hands. She felt utterly defeated.

"Is there anything?" Liv asked again taking a seat by her mentor. Marian looked up sadly.

"Ethan came to save me too. He's just like his mother." She shook her head to clear it. "You can help look through the books I suppose. Try and find something useful." Liv grabbed the nearest book and began flipping through the pages. After a few pages, she looked up at the two boys standing.

"You can both help to you know." John sat down next Liv and Link groaned but took a seat.

"What are we looking for anyway?" he asked scanning the pages for… he had no idea really what he was searching for.

"Something about New Order or creating order. Chaos maybe?" Liv shrugged but didn't look up.

"You know," John said. Link and I don't need sleep, so we could stay up all night and do this." He smiled at his girlfriend. Marian and Liv both looked up.

"Really?" Liv asked.

"Yeah! Really?" Link asked surprised. He wanted to help, but this sounded ridiculous. He had better things to do with his nights… Like uh, alright well he had nothing, but he didn't want to spend them reading.

"Of course," John said. "Well, I can. Link doesn't have to." Link sighed.

"No, I can help."

**Lena**

Lena slept for days. In her dreams, she could still be with Ethan, even if it was nothing but nightmares, he was still there. Her uncle had tried to get her out of house, but she hardly even left her room. Boo had taken up a permanent spot at her door and never left it unless Lena left the room. There was nothing left for Lena. She didn't have to worry about being claimed, or ending the world, or about Ethan. She had been claimed, the world was already ending, and Ethan was dead. She couldn't stop any of them. Her life was a huge disaster. She was tempted at times to go to the water tower and join Ethan, but she never did. Everyone was working trying to find out what to do next, except her. Link had even joined Liv and the rest in looking for answers with Marian. What could Lena do anyway? She would probably end up screwing that up to. No, her room was really the best place to be. Her empty, room with empty walls save for the last message. She stared at it most of the time she was awake. She held up her charm necklace and studied it sometimes.

The doorbell rang and she jumped. Even now, just a few days passed, she thought maybe it was Ethan. She lay back down in the bed when she remembered he was gone. She pushed out her mind to search just in case and was met by silence. She heard footsteps up the stairs and then there was a knock at the door.

"It's open," Lena said. Amma was in the doorway.

"May I come in?" Lena said nothing so she came in. "Is this all you have been doing?" She asked. Lena still didn't respond. "Ethan died for you and you just lie there?" she asked irritated.

"What does it matter?" Lena replied. "He's gone and he isn't coming back."

"Child… You can change the world." Amma shook her head. "Don't you think if you have the opportunity to create a new order that you can shape it how you want?" Lena looked at the woman. There was a fire in the older womans eyes.

"What does that have to do with anything." Amma looked behind her, then looked back at the girl on the bed.

"You could bring him back," she said quietly. "You could do whatever you want." Lena sat up quickly. Her mind started turning over. She had to create a New Order… There were no rules on how or what to do. No template. She could do whatever she wanted.

"How?" she asked with emotion flooding into her voice for the first time in days.

"I have no idea, but we can find out." Lena stood up. "Let's get you out of this house for starters." Lena had always thought Amma had hated her, but right now it didn't seem to matter. They both wanted Ethan back and they could help each other.


	4. Chapter 4

**Note: I probably won't continue this since the book came out :( I am also in college and I don't have much time. That and I have my own stories to work on. However, if anyone really wants to read some of the things I have wrote, just PM me. I wouldn't mind having some people to give me some feedback. It's always helpful. Otherwise, thanks for all the comments. It's really nice to know people enjoyed my writing.**

**Lena**

Days had passed and, even though Lena had her will to live renewed, she had come no further in creating a New Order, no closer to bring Ethan back to her… Liv, John and Link had no luck either and they had been looking for longer. Even if she had found not one thing to help, Lena refused to give up. She needed to get Ethan back. If there was even a small chance to bring him back, she would do everything in her power to do so. But she had no idea on how to create a New Order, let alone find a way to bring Ethan back with it. S

She was in the Caster libraries again with as many books as she could carry on the table. Each opened up and then pushed aside when no information had been found.

"This is impossible!" she yelled sweeping her arm across the table causing the large dusty tomes to smack heavily on the ground. She had been there for last few days, hardly even sleeping, and she had nothing to show for it. What she was trying to do had never been done and there was no book on it… She shut the only book left on the table and leaned back rubbing her eyes. She was so tired…

Ethan was there sitting across the table with her looking through books.

"Don't worry L," he said smiling up at her with his amazing smile. "We will find a way to save you. I promise, even if I have to stay here until your birthday." Lena shook blinked her eyes, and Ethan was gone. Only a memory. Ethan had been willing to do anything to make sure she had been safe. It was her turn now, Ethan was the one who needed help this time. She was going to save him. She pushed herself out of her chair and went back into the stacks.

**Amma**

Amma's kitchen was running full power now. Her first few days after Ethan's death were nothing now. She was as determined as Lena to find a way to bring him back, if not more so. On the window sills, the counters, the table, the top of the fridge, anywhere there was free space; Amma had placed a pie to cool. In the center of the table surrounded by pies sat many bottles of liquor. She was just pulling out her last pie when Ethan's dad walked into the kitchen nose high up in the air smelling.

"Wow!" he said looking around the room. "What's the occasion for all the pies?" he went to touch one but the old lady smacked at his hand with her One Eyed Menace. He chuckled and withdrew his hand.

"They are for the town. After such a disaster I believe they need something." She had the lie planned as soon as she had made the first pie. She would never tell him they were all going to the Greats. Surely they would know something about the New Order or bring Ethan back.

"I could have sworn you didn't much care for the people of this town Amma," he said trying to sneak another pie only to be hit again from Amma who wasn't watching him.

"Such a tragedy, I think I can put my feelings aside for a while." He shrugged and went to the fridge since she refused to allow him a pie.

"Have you seen Ethan lately?" he asked moving things around in the fridge looking for something to eat. Amma shrugged and set her last pie down on the last available counter space.

"I think he is still helping with cleanup of the town," she said quickly. He shut the fridge.

"Maybe I should go help. Be good bonding time right?" Amma was silent for a moment. She couldn't think of anything to say.

"Maybe not. Ethan and Lena do need some time alone as well…" she said unsure.

"Oh come on, I won't cramp their style. It would be nice to spend some time with the both of them."

"What about your book?" Amma asked. He waved it off.

"It can wait…" He left the kitchen with a plate of left overs saying he'd try and find Ethan later. Amma sighed and began packing the car with her offerings while trying to think of a way to prevent telling Mitchell the truth.

**Ethan**'

Turns out the world of the dead, and the world of the living are the same place, just one had dead people, and one has living… Not a good explanation I know, it looked the same, except there were some dead people around instead. It kind of looked how I imagined Aunt Dell to see. Different points in time seemed to be there. Some were in focus; some seemed to be slipping away,

"What do you think?" my mom asked from my side. I looked up at her again and smiled. I hadn't seen her for so long. I could hug her, which was worth dying for almost.

"I'm not sure… It doesn't seem like what I thought. This is a pretty odd heaven." She laughed and put her arm around me.

"This is only a pit-stop to the Great Beyond," she said waving her arm around displaying the area. "Everyone here is here with a purpose, what that is, I can't say. I know mine was to keep you safe. Now it is to get you back."

"I can get back?" I asked dumbfounded. I could go back to Lena! When I visited her, it was terrible. I hated seeing her so broken, but I could fix it. But I would be leaving my mom… Who I had missed for so long. She had missed watching me grow to the man I was… Had been… But I didn't want to be dead.

"Of course." she said smiling at me. She grabbed my hand and we began to walk. As we did, she told of this place. There wasn't much to do, but she was lucky enough to have her books still. In death, she had learned much more than she had in life. It didn't surprise me much. In life she spent all of her time reading, why should death stop her?

"How did you get to visit me those times?" The Lillum had said he could visit both worlds, but he didn't know how his mother did.

"It took a lot of effort, and the thought of seeing you again helped. I have missed you so much my boy." I gave her a side hug as we kept walking. We came up to a large house that I hadn't seen around town before. In fact, I stopped seeing familiar houses some time ago, but had not really noticed.

"Who lives here?" I asked as we went up the steps.

"You'll see," my mother said knocking.


End file.
